Psychology

Why People Hate you for Achieving Success



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Jealousy is a vice that seems impossible to shrug off. Our everyday lives are tinged with jealousy, and though we try our hardest to be happy for others, our feelings are stronger than our minds. So, when a person achieves a certain amount of success that merits grand rewards and we hate that person, often our hate stems from jealousy.

Success is invaluable in today's society. We often think, though falsely, that if you cannot make enough money, you are not successful and you are therefore not entitled to respect. So, when we hear about a successful businessperson who has bought a new and expensive sports car, our immediate response is not, Oh, good for her! but Why didn't she give some of that money to charity? or I would have used that money some other, better way.

For, hate truly requires that we know the person we hate. We can't say that we hate a stranger just because he has had a good measure of success (unless, of course, that success involves a crime). Our hatred is an expression of our jealousy, for surely we can't express jealousy through love.

A few different types of jealousy exist. One form exists between lovers, and is too complicated to be outlined here. Another form exists between siblings, which is self-explanatory. Another form exists between demographic categories, such as races or genders or classes. The jealousy of which we speak when we hate successful people is one that is not easy to explain, for its causes are not immediately found. We cannot pinpoint the exact cause of that jealousy because, first of all, it is something that concerns us and does not concern us. In other words, the situation will dictate what kind of jealousy will exist.

For instance, if a co-worker is able to get a raise while his co-worker does not, the second co-worker will undoubtedly be angry and jealous. But, what if the first co-worker earned his raise because he worked twice as hard as the second co-worker? Is the jealousy valid? The jealousy will, no doubt, exist even if it isn't valid (and even if it is). And, we can easily see that the jealous person has no one to blame but himself. If he had worked a little harder, he might have had the same opportunity.

In short, we can't spend our time being jealous of people who have achieved success through hard work. If we are happy for them, perhaps we can realize that hard work really does pay off, and we shall have that same measure of success, too.

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