Psychology

The Difference between being Shy and being Rude



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Human behavior can be a fascinating subject. On one hand, it can aid the seeker in deepening their understand of themselves and their world. On the other, cultural diversity and ethnocentric perspectives present challenges in the ability of the human race to support it's brethren, while fostering personal growth. There are many human behaviors which may, at first glance, appear in direct contradiction to each other and at deeper analysis demonstrate similar traits thus holding deeper understanding for self actualization and deeper empathy for another's human experience. One immediate example is the comparison of shy rude behavior.

Analyzing the difference, or similarities, between acting shy and being rude first requires a context in which the behaviors are occurring. Certainly a person whom is to shy to forcibly take there place on line, or race to grab the last item on the shelf, would not be easily confused with a rude individual who acts like a lemming possessed to be the first to grab the golden gauntlet without any consideration for those around them. However, in the contexts of a social event, a shy person and a rude person may both appear aloof unable to interact, or they may appear to consider themselves to good to interact with others who are unworthy of there time. Analysis of the formation of such behaviors or subjective judgment on such behaviors would further require an understanding on the cultural beliefs and circumstances in which they are formed. Personal introspection and the objective analysis of the benefit of shyness or rudeness may hold principals to living a happier life.

Courage, bravado, strength of character, chivalry, kindness and compassion are all traits that can be reflected in shyness or rudeness when put into the proper contexts. This may seem strange at first, but consider the life of a Buddhist monk, whom has come first from a place of violence and rage before choosing a new path. It would take all the above mentioned characteristics to lay down arms and act meek and shy while others walked in front of him, speak louder than him, grabbed their desires first. His inner expression of the path he walks could be satisfied in a deep manner in this way. Now let us consider a politician or war lord , when they speak louder, boldly express there point of view, forcibly stay convicted to action there is a strength of character that is seen. Is it rude to discredit an opponents attempt to attack? For the Buddhist is it the wrong way, and for a warrior or political leader is it necessary? There are the rare individuals throughout history whom have embodied the best of everything. Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Tomas Edison, Various religious leaders. But, what about the mom or dad on line at the grocery store, what action is rude, which is shy, and which is correct?
Self expression, and conviction to ones principals is the key to finding proper action and living in joy. Modern day society teaches much less about restraint and much more about aggression. In nature, the animistic side is rewarded when aggression dominates. The faster, stronger hunter eats. However, it is balanced; any species which does not have the compassion to care for it's young will not survive as a species. Human intellect and physical prowess have lead us to a time in history where our power to destroy is unprecedented. And there are many actions in which a human may find self worth in this, depending on there beliefs. Globally this is a dangerous situation, but individually the guidance is simple. The more lives we touch the more our life is touched. So how is it we wish to be touched? What do we have to offer the world as individuals? What do we believe would be the very best things we could see in the world? Conviction to your self prevents shyness. An understanding that what others desire is as important as our desires prevents rudeness. The combination of the two, creates a balanced self expression in which a person understands there desires and realizes the importance of there expression. King did not say hey bigot step away from my dream. He said I have a dream. Gandhi did not win a civil war with the best weapons, greatest technology, and most callous inhumane acts of murder, he did it by fasting.

Strength of character is not about the submissions of another, but the conviction of your own worthiness and self actualization independent of that of your opponent or brethren. So, next time you see someone you are afraid to talk to, or the person behind you in line steps in front of you, search your heart for your own conviction of how you believe the world would be enhanced, and act that way. Before you know it you may witness the results of your actions. Shy or rude, kind or callous, truthfulness or character will perpetuate your beliefs. If your beliefs are correct, witnessing them in action in the world will most likely lead to a quite joy that will never be reflected in regret. Balance rudeness with connection to others and balance shyness with connection to ones self.

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