Sergeant Stone and his 57 Varieties of Alien

Joe Matthews's image for:
"Sergeant Stone and his 57 Varieties of Alien"
Image by: 

Carl Sagan suggested it was naive- chauvanistic to deny altogether the possibility of space foreigners. If we're here, and our scientists seem to suggest it's awfully unlikely, then why not newer and older civilizations than ours? Everything is plausible. Of course we're suspicious of others' authority to speak on something we don't know about. But we're also suggestible if conversion can be made attractive, lucrative, or puts us in good company.

As goes the 'Are We Alone?' community, I think we're all interested. Outer space, the unknown, vast, unexplored, potentially crowded interstellar commute, all space ships and mylar-the tiny dresses on the space girls? Forget about it. We're already interested in space. But we see a lot of people going to great lengths to demonstrate their indifference to the result of the argument. They've sacrificed and suffered in the cause of delivering their message, selflessly working to disseminate what the government isn't telling you. And they think you should Know. Is it so compelling it will cause me to DO something besides watch the alien case file shows on cable?

For example, I've been told Flax Seed Oil is the best thing for you. I don't believe it, but someone like Dr. Oz might give it more credibility. If it would give me a buzz, I'd try it. If it would make us astoundingly virile, I bet we'd all be eating flax. The issue of credibility rests in part on whether or not the teller has an interest in convincing you, whether or not they can interest you. Cult of Personality may lead me to believe Dr. Oz's. I don't think he has secret stakes in a flax farm, and I'm interested in that buzz or the boost. But knowledge? If the goal is to simply inform me that flax seed oil exists and lends no advantage to claimaint or audience, that suggests the promoter has some hidden motive. (I do value useless knowledge- I majored in it. I'm talking big picture.)

We know the government isn't telling us everything. They aren't saying how Dick Cheney spent his budget, or how many illegal aliens are in North America. But they aren't telling me how many legal aliens, tourists and passers-through are on US soil either. Why would they hide it- or what would they lose by sharing the information? How could that info help our opponents? We could just blast them all from our space copters. See, we've made contact, and we've reverse-engineered their technology.

I wonder whether the government is capable of 'knowing' anything. Are we to assume the aliens share our fetish for authority and superiors? Would you ask Sgt. Stone which way to go if you're fresh off a space ship? Are these aliens guided by reason? Doesn't everyone, aliens included, want to meet Oprah? As soon as an alien's cover gets blown, given that they're non-threatening (according to Stone), Oprah will have them on and make them not only famous- but loved. How could they resist? Then maybe they'd enslave and consume us. We Just don't know. But Sgt. Clifford Stonesays he's met 57 Varieties of Aliens.

Who's interested in aloneness? Religion. If we're not alone, then the God, Chosen People, Bible Stories ideas are threatened. Certainly no sustaining God would create us in His image and leave us to the whims of Godless Martians, who may also be made in God's image- so where to we fit? Industry cares. If a car could be made to run on some mental energy, or by consuming space, or light speed or whatever, then the Big Three would risk bankruptcy and fossilization... The military-industrial complex could only benefit by suddenly increased fear of foreigners foreign and extraterrestrial... These two suggest there are at least non-government entities interested in squelching the information. If the government has been trying to protect these two and prevent the collapse of religion, it's doing well enough for government work.

<a href=",2933,24364,00.html">The Disclosure Project presented its case at the National Press Club in 2001</a>, with Stone making his claim he's been in the room for successful collection of many ET artifacts. What's in it for him?

More about this author: Joe Matthews

From Around the Web