Travel to Mars is undoubtedly and most definitely dangerous. I find it hard to get halfway along the Central Line without some hold up, train malfunction or pushy guy sticking his sweaty armpit in your face so how the hack could we get anyone safely to Mars?
Imagine, the space ship shudders, the rockets fire - then a voice says ' we apologize for the delay' some leaves have just blown across NASA's site. The rocket will now depart in 10 minuted'. 10 minutes later ' We apologize for the delay but due to an industrial dispute, this rocket will face delays until a solution can be found. Both sides are talking . PLease wait'.
Finally, it takes off (an hour and minus several crucial tanks of rocket fuel late). the journey is going great, earth is becoming a distant sphere of blue, White and green in the rear view mirror when another voice comes on the tannoy, ' We apologise again but this rocket will have a bumpy landing due to the late arrival of the landing gear. Unfortunately it was Bobby's day off and he was supposed to order them in time but he says it was Les who was meant to get the landing gear in time and sadly, neither of them did their job so the rocket has no gear. Please fasten your seat belts'.
the astronauts, by this time really pickled off, try to contact base. ' Please wait while we try to connect you', says the voice. ' All our operators are busy at the moment but a service advisor will talk to you as soon as one becomes available.'
Next thing heard is ''Aaaagh!''''.
So, for the moment please just get me through to Stratford, on time most of the time and I'll be happy. Leave Mars for the future - a long way in the future.