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Ron Lynch in time machine at the Tomorrow comedy show...

Iranian Announces Invention of Time Machine



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Ron Lynch in time machine at the Tomorrow comedy show...
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"Iranian Announces Invention of Time Machine"
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The Islamic Republic of Iran has created an impressive array of offensive weaponry since the turn of the millennium. Included in the rogue state's inventory of war technology are advanced military drones, RCBMs, a submarine, and rudimentary cruise missiles. Aided and abetted by its ally North Korea, the mullahs of Tehran have also moved forward with more advanced missile technology.

Nuclear experts from the Russian Federation have assisted in the creation of several nuclear facilities that Iran claims are to be used only for power generation. Yet most Western intelligence agencies are certain Iran's nuclear ambitions include refining plutonium for use in atomic weapons.

All of the ancient country's achievements serve as grist for ongoing propaganda. But, as if their growing technical prowess is not enough, lately the Iranian propaganda has slipped into the theater of the absurd with outlandish claims that seem torn from the pages of Weekly World News.

Of flying saucers and time machines

Iran began its slippery slide into silliness with the claim it had built an advanced flying saucer. They named their otherworldly craft the "Zohal"—Saturn in English. Why they chose to call it Saturn no one ever discovered.

News stories claimed that the craft was displayed to a thrilled and amazed Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Iran’s supreme leader, who was attending a state exhibition of "strategic technologies" at the time.

The government announcement went on to assert that the Zohal was actually an unmanned spaceship and intended to be deployed for surveillance. They also claimed that while it's primary purpose was for "aerial imaging," it could also be adopted for "various missions."

The icing on the cake came when the Iranian news agency released an official photo of the Zohal. The photo was an obvious fake.

Then, just last week, Iranian news media stunned the world again with a timely scoop: a 27-year-old cobbled together a device that could peer ahead into time. Identifying the inventor as the "managing director of Iran's Center for Strategic Inventions," Ali Razeqi boldly claimed that although his machine would not propel you into the future, the future would be brought to you. According to the Daily Telegraph, Razeqi stated that his time machine "easily fits into the size of a personal computer case and can predict details of the next 5-8 years of the life of its users."

The machine allegedly employs a complex series of arcane algorithms to arrive at predictions centered around the user. The prognostications are neatly printed out for easy reading.

Curious about the claim, National Geographic cornered theoretical physicist and co-author of "Time Travel and Warp Drives,"  Thomas Roman, to address the likelihood of the veracity of the claim. They asked: "What do you think of Razeqi's claim that he's built a time machine that can predict a person's future?"

Roman summed it up succinctly: "It's completely nuts."

Apparently the Iranian news agency has belatedly drawn the same conclusion. According to CBC News the agency has erased and officially denies the time machine story.

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ARTICLE SOURCES AND CITATIONS
  • InfoBoxCallToAction ActionArrowhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iran
  • InfoBoxCallToAction ActionArrowhttp://www.helium.com/items/2119868-iran-builds-a-flying-saucer
  • InfoBoxCallToAction ActionArrowhttp://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/iran/9985757/Iranian-scientist-claims-to-have-invented-time-machine.html
  • InfoBoxCallToAction ActionArrowhttp://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2013/13/130412-iranian-time-machine-time-travel-grandfather-paradox/
  • InfoBoxCallToAction ActionArrowhttp://www.cbc.ca/news/yourcommunity/2013/04/iranian-news-publishes-erases-denies-time-machine-story.html?cmp=rss