A certain amount of negative thinking or bad thoughts. are important for the survival of ourselves and others. To be afraid to touch a hot iron, is a fear but also a safe-guard, for your health.
Passive behavior is used as a defense mechanism used in the home of an aggressive person, to avoid increased confrontation.
for many years I lived in a home with a father that had a drinking problem, studying my own conversation with others over the years, I noticed that I use the word sorry quite frequently.
Working with another care giver one day I noticed that she also said sorry, all the time. Turning to her I said "your father used to drink didn't he" speaking back to me she said "no it was my mother how did you know".
So now I know that my behavior as an adult is a mixture of defense mechanisms learned as a child and experience built up from years of social interactions on my pathway through life.
In latter years I fell in love with a woman that didn't love me and on he rebound from this relationship, ended up getting married to a woman, I didn't love.
With life revolving around raising a child that I loved, working in a job that I hated, my life became one of depression and misery.
I started having thought of suicide just wanting to escape without hurting the one I loved i thought that yes they would suffer but after a while they would move on to love others and hopefully forget me.
Pleased now to say that I failed in my attempts at suicide, I was forced to confront myself, the speed of my mind went into over drive, attacking and destroying, one idea after another. emotions changing rapidly, with each conflicting or encouraging thought, you need to trust that your subconscious is trying to help.
What I'm saying is that you don't want to suppress bad thoughts you need to examine them change them destroy them never suppress them they'll come back to kick you in he butt.
To change my thinking from negative into the realms of positive thinking I started by reading books like Dale Carnegies, making friends and influencing people(Please excuse the title if i've got it slightly wrong i't been many years since I read this book.
Think and grow rich by Napoleon hill it might be more than slightly focus on money but the business world knows how to focus on positive thinking that how they make the sales
The happiest people on the earth the earth by Demos shakarian
A better way to live by Og Mandino
And know doubt there are thousands more I learned to go to the salvation army shop and pick up a book to read sometimes I like what I read and learned to use part of it sometimes I thought that rubbish and through it away.
It's your life take control and become the person you want to be watching TV programs like the kids television show ALF one of his sayings was "No Problem" taking on board little sayings like these helped.
Another one of my favorites is "one mans problem is another mans challenge"
I learned to sing, It's hard to be unhappy when you sing well doing your work.
I learned to change the way I looked at life and realized that to enjoy life the change has to begin with you.