Psychology

How to let go of someone you Love



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Separation and loss of a loved one has intense emotional impact no matter the reason. Loss of love causes the human spirit to grieve. It matters not if the loss is due to a partner leaving on their own or through death. The impact of the loss is the same if they truly and deeply love that person. In either instance there is a need to let go in order to continue in this life.

A loss through death has an irrevocable finality to its circumstance. However, this does not make it any easier to let go. The length of time shared together does not lessen the loss but is to be celebrated. There is need to think of the good times. Some may say that this may make melancholy worse but it is important to recognize that there were good times shared. These reminisces helps one to move towards acceptance of the loss. Yes, there is a realization that there will not be any shared times moving into the future. However, the pain of loss is lessened by reveling in those times. It is necessary they remember the loving and tender moments, the silly times and even the times they cried together. A need to remember it all. A person cannot move forward by denying their life as it once was. They need to allow them self to grieve. When it is time to move forward in life it will be self evident. There is no fixed timetable.

Loss through separation by one partner leaving the relationship also has a strong emotional impact. For some acceptance is extremely difficult because it does not have that irrevocable finality as there is with death. An unrequited love has the obvious emotional feeling of loss but it also affects ones self esteem. There is the grieving of the loss plus the second guessing why the partner would leave the relationship. To move on after this loss one has to come to the realization while being truly honest with them self that the problem was not with them personally. This fact is true whether they were just going with each other, engaged or married. When the partner leaves it is due to their issues within the relationship. The need to let go is difficult but is necessary. One cannot hold someone's heart captive. If they attempt to coerce the partner the relationship can turn into something ugly. They need to remember the good times shared. Also they must come to the realization that it may be possible to have similar times with another partner when they are ready to move on in life. Yes, the pain is severe enough to make people shy away from even seeking another relationship. The choice is entirely with them. However, if they need to share life with someone then they must fear not to love again. Otherwise, they would never know that the next partner may be the soul mate that they have always sought.

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More about this author: Richard Bramante

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