Today, I let go of someone I loved for the second time. It wasn't easy either time, but I think today was the worst because I knew when they threw the dirt into the hole, that it was really final. My beloved aunt passed away back in February and was buried today. How do you let go of someone that has been a part of your life since you were born? How do you say that last good-bye to someone that always had a kind word and an ice cream cone to give you?
The first thing you do is accept that for whatever the reason, this person will not be in your life any longer. Whether it is a break-up or a death, until you really internalize the idea that you must move on without them, it will not happen. Take a few moments or a few days to work through it in your own way, but realize that when all is said and done you will only have the memories left.
Once you have accepted it, allow yourself to be angry with the situation. Sometimes we try to stifle our feelings and that makes them fester inside of us. By getting angry or even sad about a loved one leaving our life, we make room for new things and eventually for happiness.
Time will heal the hurt if you allow it too. It could be your spouse walking out or losing someone like I did, but either way, you need some time to heal. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving ahead. Suddenly, one day you will wake up and realize that although you have not forgotten the pain, it seems to be less and you seem to be able to move ahead.
The most important way to let go of someone you love is to remember the good things about that person and relationship. Knowing that it was not all in vain and that in some ways you are a better or different person because of the time you spent with this person will allow you to find others to have good times with in the future. Take time to talk with others that have had to let go of someone and talk about the good times rather than dwelling on the bad. It will help and it may even put things into perspective for you.
It makes no difference whether you have to let go suddenly or you see it coming, letting go of someone is never an easy thing to do when you have loved them deeply. Just remember that we all go through it and that you are not alone. Most importantly, remember to look ahead one day at a time to new love and new opportunities.