How to Instill Confidence in yourself

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"How to Instill Confidence in yourself"
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For people who are naturally self-confident then self-confidence within themselves may come easy enough. For those of us who are not, then the question of how to be more confident, and trusting of ourselves is always with us. Confidence within ourselves may never come easy to the vast majority of us - and, in fact, it may never fully come at all.

Confidence is such a fickle and fragile thing to have. There are certain people who may in their lives, have had nothing but criticism, nothing but people around them - be they family or friends - who may have brought them down. Their self-confidence may be shot to pieces and in some cases it may take years even, to get that back. One has to look not only at themselves but at their surroundings and the people who they may mingle with.

There are many people who love nothing better than to bring others down, because they themselves may not be as self-confident as the person who they are aiming their attacks at. This goes on daily, until the victim feels they can do nothing right, and in fact stops trying new things completely.  The praise you receive - or the lack of it - plus your surroundings, definitely do have an affect on a person's state of mind.

Self-confidence [with the exception of those people who are lucky enough to be born with self-confidence] has to be taught. It can be a long drawn-out process - especially where a person finds it hard to accept praise from others. This is simply because they may never have been shown the attention, praise or chances that everyone deserves in life.

People may come from broken homes, may have been violently abused, or simply may be naturally shy, and introvert. In all of those cases, self-confidence can be shot to pieces - which is why it may be so hard for certain people to try their hands at new things.  Those
who have had nothing but criticism throughout their lives often find it so hard to accept praise from others. They find it hard to accept that someone may feel they are important enough to spend time with. Again, such people often find it hard to trust too - and again, this boils down to self-confidence. 

People do what others expect them to do, and indeed this frame of mind can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. If people expect you to fail, and to not amount to much in this life, then that is what you will believe of yourself. This is why confidence has to be built within oneself. Confidence has to be taught and people have to have the confidence within themselves to try different things.

Of course that is not to say that you will succeed, but you will never know unless you try. Sure,there will be failures along the way, but that is the whole point of learning and building self-confidence. Only by ignoring those people who are only too willing to bring you down at every opportunity, looking at yourself in a completely different way, will you hope to succeed in building your self-confidence.

In other words, it is much like being into a new person, in which you yourself have to change the way you look at yourself. This is what self-confidence is all about, it is about changing your own views on yourself into a more positive outlook. You must first love yourself,and then it will be easier for others to love you. 

If you believe that you will fail, at any given thing you try your hand at, then you will fail. The mind is a powerful thing to possess, but it can be easily manipulated and influenced [for the good or bad] into believing everything that others tell it.  So, in order to build self-confidence
[especially if you are shy, introvert, or may not have been given the encourangement throughout your life that others have been given]  you must first look at yourself deeply. It is all about changing your viewpoint on yourself and on how others may see you. Do not become a self-fulfilling prophecy for others to laugh at. You must change what others think about you and how others see you.

Building self-confidence is all about building yourself up to try new things which means that new possibilities will open up to you.  Confidence can move mountains - but it can be just as easily shattered by a throwaway crass comment which could hurtle some people back to square one. Building a strong mind, to be able to deal with the critics and building your confidence at the same time, is the only way in which you will ultimately change, for the better.

More about this author: Wayne Leon Learmond

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