Psychology

How to Control your Anger



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Anger is something we all feel at some time or another, it may surface as a slight annoyance or bubble up in an all consuming rage, this is inclined to depend on the circumstances and our state of mind at the time.

One dictionary version of anger describes it as "strong feelings of grievance, bitterness and resentment".....all of which when we hold onto, lead to unhappiness and ill heath.
We all feel anger throughout our lives in varying degrees, sometimes it may only come across as a mild form of irritation, other times it may affect us and control our thoughts to the point that all our actions come from this source of anger. It then becomes all consuming to the quality of our life.

This is all a matter of choice. When we look at the situation that has caused us to react in this way and take it for what it really is, the anger then no longer has a control on us, we can begin to put it into perspective and let go.

Anger needs to be looked at for what it is.
What are you angry about? Who are you angry with? How can you work with your anger to dissolve it in a non threatening way?
Often we take our anger out on those we are closest to mainly because it is within them that we recognize our self although we may not be consciously aware of this, especially when we are angry.

When you become angry with another, take a moment to clear your head and ask yourself the question "how am I making myself angry?
What is it I am angry about, because anger is like anything else, when we feel it for another or recognize it in another, we have the very same going on within our own self.
Anger is no different, when we become angry with another it maybe that we are angry with our self.
This is always a good time to take a good long and honest look within. Mirror work comes in handy for this.

It is important at all times when doing any form of emotional self healing to be totally non-judgmental with your self and others and to give and receive love unconditionally.
Truthful love is unconditional and accepting in all matters.

Anger must always be released and dealt with in an appropriate manner otherwise new and often more profound problems may arise especially if the anger is dealt with in the form of abuse.
When you experience these heavy feelings of anger you need to ask what effect it is having on you and those around you.
I can get angry with my husband when he puts off doing things until the last minute and yet I do the very same thing myself!
Are you mirroring another's actions and is this making you angry?

Is your heath suffering because you are holding in your anger? Are you blaming yourself? Are you blaming others? Is the problem really that bad or has it been building and gathering momentum along with your anger?
Are you re-acting to the anger of another and then lashing out at those in your life thereby continuing on the cycle of anger, because when you hurt another through anger they will then go off and project their angry vibrations onto others and so it goes on.

Have you lost your sense of humour and the ability to laugh?

Pen and paper come in handy at these times, keep a journal and write, write, write, put down every thought as they come into your mind, don't worry about your spelling or grammar, don't concern yourself or take the time for corrections just put down what enters your mind. This can be a very enlightening experience because with our human tendency to put things into the back of the mind when they are too painful or hard to deal with, they tend to become stuck there influencing our judgments and choices when dealing with others without conscious knowledge of this. When we begin to write down the thoughts in this way, out flows all those old, out dated and negative thought patterns that have been dictating our life for so long, often causing us to make decisions and choices based on these. It is a healthy way to release our anger. Remember unconditional love for all concerned.

The human mind does have the ability to expand thought ( and it doesn't have to be a healthy thought, in fact it is often the unhealthy ones that we cling to and build up, giving them more credence than necessary. This is when we begin to make our self ill, because we are internalizing the anger, instead of allowing our self to express and be rid of it.

Many forms of cancer have an emotional root source, and come from holding onto heavy feelings and emotions such as hate, anger, fear, guilt, shame. Note how your body feels next time you are feeling angry, and where in your body you are experiencing these sensations.
This applies to all emotions, how does your body feel when you are experiencing joy or feeling relaxed and happy, laughing. Note the difference.

Writing this article has give me the perfect opportunity to put into practice these words I have written.
Part way through writing I discovered a "glitch" on my computer, I was not happy and I could feel the anger rising in me and my instant re-action was to blame. I could feel myself searching through the records of my mind looking for someone to blame, it could have been for any reason, I was angry and I would have taken the first person whose name popped in, and away I would have gone, and some how linking them to what is happening now building up my anger, instead I am so pleased to say it didn't happen, no name, no blame, nothing came up.

I was so happy as that showed to me, I have passed a huge milestone in the blame game. I am released, it felt so good then and still does.
Instead of allowing the anger to take over, I went out into the garden and spent some time there pottering around and letting go of my woes about the computer until I accepted it didn't really matter if my computer wasn't working at that particular moment, it freed me up and allowed me to do other things.
I turned it into a positive experience and enjoyed my day out in the fresh air rather than allowing the angry feeling to bubble away making my day one of misery and anger.
It was while I was out in the garden that I received a lot of my inspiration for this article and for this I give thanks.

The point I am making here is when we become angry we tend to link it up to the closest thought pattern within our mind, that in the past has brought up the same strength of angry feelings and of course when we do this, up comes all the old stuff that no longer serves us in a positive light, but is still controlling to a certain degree, our life.

There are many ways to diffuse anger before it takes hold, you can replace it with an activity that gives you pleasure and so take the main focus of the angry feelings allowing you to look at what is making you feel this way and how you can work through and let it go.

Remember this is your journey and it is your feelings and emotions that matter, when you heal these and the rest will fall into place. Tale the time to replace those
harsh, angry thoughts, words and actions with gentle and loving ones and notice others will do the same.

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More about this author: Dianne Paukovits

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