How to Control your Anger

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The definition for out of control anger:  rage and emotions that are expressed in a violent manner.  These sudden and strong feelings of hatred, grievance, and displeasure are one indicator.

 Anger is a very serious issue.  It affects the lives of our family and friends.  For many years, society has overlooked the problem of anger in relationships throughout our lives.  It is a topic that can be dealt with once recognized. There were times during the past it was excused or just overlooked.  Families lived in denial, made excuses, or lived in fear and shame.  Anger can be found in the most prestigious homes in America. There was no such thing as anger management help available.  Today trained therapists work with patients, and families; Teaching them how to deal with their situation. The problem, however, is twofold: a person must first recognize the need, secondly seek professional guidance and assistance.  If, not there could be serious negative actions as the result.

Negative results from anger:

Intense rage leads to violence.  People get hurt, and sometimes  killed.  Family members end up in jail and separated from their loved ones. One or both parents are in the lock up because of out of control anger. Children are often left on love ones to take care of.   Jobs are lost, loved ones are removed from the home leaving them feeling guilty and living in shame.  The crying and regrets all comes out after an embarrassing situation.


The treats and inappropriate fear, manipulation, control, and intimidation only provide a short time of comfort for the aggressor. Meanwhile, family members are living in fear. They keep the deep dark secret from friends and family out of shame. The siblings usually end up hating the one that they want so desperate to love (the parent. As mention previously there were ways of dealing with anger. You don’t have to lose everything. To break your habit you must develop an awareness of the events, circumstances, and behaviors that trigger your anger.  Listed below are signs that you probably should pay close attention too.

Know the signs:

1.  Your voice tends to get louder in pitch. You start shaking and demanding to be heard.

2.  Signs of sudden sweating, dizziness, or light-headed.

3.  Face head and neck are hot, and heart is pounding.

4.  Suddenly feel sad and withdrawn, or irritated.

5.  Plan to get even with the person that you disagree with.

6.  You must always have the last word.

Now that you know your triggers you can start a plan to control your anger. The change is up to you.

Ways to control your anger:

·         If your anger has caused problems in your family life, friends, or on the job seek help right away.

·         Talk with a friend share how you feel when you are upset. Try to explain what it is that you think is making you so irritable.

·         Name the problem that makes you so angry. Think of ways that you can either change the situation or avoid being near it.

·         Explain to the person what is that they are doing that makes you so angry.

·         Don’t keep your feelings bottled up inside of you. Remember to practice calm discussions.

·         Take a time out, and do some deep breathing or exercise to gain control.   You might want to go on a walk until you are more rational.

In closing, all anger is not bad. We just need to know how to express what we feel.  God gave us that emotion so that we become aware of when people have hurt our feelings or done something bad to us. Controlled anger is good. The Bible says be angry but sin not.

More about this author: Bernice Dennis - 314242

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