Psychology

Helplessness Complaining People how to Deal with Negative People how to Stop Complaining



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People complain about everything because so much is wrong with our world!

Yet, beyond that, there are damaged people, who without realizing it, have surrendered their power, and see the world as stuff that happens to them, instead of stuff they can respond to, in daily life.  In fact, one may even go so far as to say, there are no problems, just solutions we have not yet found to our many challenges.

People, who seem to complain about everything, are people with no power at all. They have become total victims, and they are the center of the universe. Nothing in the world just happens, it happens to them!

When people complain, many things are actually occurring. We all complain when we see the ineffective way in which the world is run, polluted, exploited, and as we feel we too are exploited, and damaged by others, and negative situations that have been created.

We also complain when we feel our voice needs to be heard. We need validation, that yes this is a horrible situation/event/outcome, and that others can agree, or even possibly offer solutions.

Again, however, although people who complain about everything will no doubt hit upon some of the aforementioned situations, there are those who just see negativity in every direction. They carry a toxic energy about them which turns friends, family, and even strangers away.  This is truly unfortunate, because it validates their complaint that no one cares, no one wants to help, and no one is on his or her side.

It is a self fulfilling trap, and one that many negative and complaining people are caught up in.  They cannot see how they toxify the room, so they complain on and on, and most of us are guilty of pretending to listen, only to politely excuse ourselves at the earliest opportunity.

If you find yourself complaining about everything, realize first that it is happening. Don’t beat yourself up, but congratulate yourself on new found awareness. Also know that we all have good and bad days, and that at any given moment, a complaining whiner has a choice to become a determined problem solving, or at least coping, individual.

If you live with a constant complainer, compassion is the answer.  They likely are unaware of what they are doing. Their first response upon being told will be to complain! Patience, understanding, and helping them out of victim-hood, and into personal empowerment is the answer.

As to the world’s many woes that do deserve legitimate complaint, we must all learn to channel useless complaining into righteous behaving, and direct action.  You cannot change the planet alone, but remember that you, and just a few others who are determined to improve things, are the only force that ever has improved the world.



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