Psychology

Coping with Criticism



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Look, it's the girl with no hips! I wouldn't be caught dead in shorts with those horrible scars on my legs.

I grew up with those things and more being said to me on a daily bases. I was born with both hips dislocated. My doctor, who didn't attend class the day such thing was being taught. Didn't realize this and denied it when my mother complained. Thus, my defect wasn't found until I was eight months old. Blessing my with eight years of surgery and in an out of body casts. Ultimately leaving a huge scar on each thigh and more around my hips.

It's sad to think of how cruel others can be. Nonetheless, it's a reality most of us have faced in some point of our lives. I'll be honest, it took me a long time to be able to brush off such criticism. It all began with knowing who I am, the kind of person I am and knowing what I faced. Knowing the battle I fought and won.

One of the most important things in coping with criticism, has to be knowing yourself and liking yourself. If you know who you are, then you know it doesn't matter what others think. In liking yourself for who you are, it leaves no doubt or weakness for others opinions to effect you.

What I mean is, words are just words. If you know who you are, those harsh words hold no meaning. Most people who say hurtful things are hurting themselves and just want to hurt others. Remember words mean whatever you let them mean.

Another important thing is positive attitude. If you look at any word and pick out a positive view in that words meaning or what it's most commonly used for. In this, the negative use of that word won't affect you. It's like I tell my kids... you're gonna have times in your life where people might say some mean things to you. You have to remember that words are only words and when said to cause harm or said in a negative way, they mean nothing. I tell them the reason they mean nothing, is because they are positive, happy, beautiful kids and that anything said with negativity or hurtful meaning isn't them- positive is better than negative.

Humor is the greatest way in coping with cruel use of words. Like when my daughter said some one called her a nerd. I smiled and told her that mostly those who are called nerds or dorks, or really smart and grow up to make a lot of money. Then I asked her if she thinks she's smart. She smiled and said yes. I said of course you are, your my beautiful nerd. Who is going to make mommy rich when she finds the cure for all cancer. A few days latter she came to me and told me the same person called her a nerd again. She smiled and said that she told this kid so, I'm smart and going to be rich.

Now, that could be seen as some what of a smart ass attitude, but hey it works. Like the horrible word I've heard often. Being called a *itch. In my younger years it hurt. Now, on the rare moment I might be called it. I simply let it be know that it's a title I've worked hard for and earned and that they should address me properly, it's Miss. *itch to you.

Now, when it comes to scars such has mine or other visible imperfections. Look at what you have faced, what battles you have gone through. You're still here, you won. These imperfections are unique marks that you have been blessed with. Because only you can go through life and deal with the situations they may cause with such grace Like my father told me when I asked why I had to be born with my hip problem. He told me, because I'm the only one whom- as a baby could smile with such beauty and utter happiness. While being in a body cast and because Heavenly father knew I was strong enough to fight this particular battle and win.

It is battle still, my hips to cause pain and the scars to cause many to stare. But what makes me walk with a smile, is the fact the doctors said I would be stuck in a wheelchair at the age of 25 due to arthritis. I'll be 27 next month and have proved the doctors wrong so far.

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More about this author: Aurura Lavender

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