Contacting Aliens

Viken Lexerande Slasl's image for:
"Contacting Aliens"
Image by: 

Contacting extraterrestrials is a long and occasionally difficult process. You will need four things, the first being a large satellite dish, the second, a very powerful computer, the third, a power booster to help you beam your signal out, and the fourth, a very, very, powerful antenna.

Fix the satellite dish securely to the top of your living area, or in your backyard, or atop your RV, anywhere will do so long as it's close by. Then run connecting cable (Type 18-VY, you can pick them up at a hardware store) down to your computer. This will allow you to receive and decode transmissions that you may receive.

Run a second cable from the computer (I favor an old Cray model for this) to your radio antenna (Type 17-VSm, again, you can pick them up at a hardware store) and plug the whole thing into your power supply. Make sure you have a lot of power.

Don't expect to receive an answer directly from the alien's home planet, since it's millions of miles away. What you are hoping to do is either catch a signal from a passing ship or receive one. They visit frequently, though not regularly, to pick up coffee and chocolate. I recommend typing the following message cycle for your transmission:

Attention passing Extraterrestrial Ship; Greetings! I am _________, and I welcome you to earth! I would be most honored to make your acquaintance, or receive a transmission from you. If your physiology permits it, feel free to visit me at the origin of this signal. If your physiologies do not permit such interaction, please send a return transmission to the same area. Thank You! Attention passing...

You get the idea, though you can make up your own transmission, and indeed they might appreciate the individuality.

Happy close encounters!

More about this author: Viken Lexerande Slasl

From Around the Web