Social Science - Other

Can Human Beings Change the way they are

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"Can Human Beings Change the way they are"
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People change all the time. As we grow, we change. As we learn, we change. As we change, we grow and learn, and change again. Sometimes people will fake change, but it isn't easy to keep up the facade and keep fooling themselves and others. So they end up right back where they started from.

When my husband and I met again after 35 years, we had both changed, physically. He had changed in many ways, and I had changed in some other ways. But he recognized me immediately; I had to see his smile before I recognized him. Then, as we got to know each other better, we learned that we were again the same people we had been as teenagers, when we had gone to school together. But we were also different people.

He had been one of the popular guys in school; I had been one of the "brains" and not popular at all. He had gone into service; I had gone back to high school and then on to college. He had married and had four children before his first divorce; I had married after college and had three. I had a master's degree; he was a welder most of his life. He had married a second time and was then divorced from her; I had only had the one marriage and wasn't thinking about ever marrying again.

But we met, and something "clicked" between us. We spent most of that night catching up on each other's lives; he had to make some changes in his life before coming back to see me. I had already made all the changes I wanted in my life, but was willing to see him again. Soon, we were seeing each other constantly, and neither of us was sure where the relationship was going. We both tried to end it, but then he realized he wanted to marry me; I had come to the conclusion that if he asked, I would accept.

We've now been married almost twelve years. He is still the boy I knew, but he is also another person. I am the girl he knew, but also another person. I no longer accept his edicts without an explanation from him, and he no longer TELLS me what to do. We both decide what is best, for the two of us, and both take the other's thoughts and feelings into consideration. We know that the big difference is both our lives is the love and respect we have for each other, which is something he never had for either of his other two wives. Or for all the girls and women he dated, before me. And because of that love and respect, I feel freer than ever in my life, to be the "me" that is really ME! We have both changed-for the better!

More about this author: Barbara A. Black

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