It takes a truly strong person to learn from experience and the best part of the whole concept is that anyone can do it. So why can’t everyone do it? Well, it’s not as easy as it sounds and to each person, there is different level of difficulty in which mistakes can proudly be accepted.
The root of this difficulty stems from people's own mindset and perspective on life. A primary component of learning from experience is letting go, which includes letting go of all the troubling sentiments that come with the experience. However, that can’t be done if peace is not made with that experience and learning to be at peace with what happened takes a series of steps, many of which prove to be a challenge to many people.
Recognize your mistake (if there is one) and take full responsibility for it. Realize it was your mistake but not your fault. Chances are one’s actions resulted from primitive human instinct or something of the sort. Not many people can accept that. It’s reasonable to assume that most try to find the easy way out of a situation which is why they must put the blame on someone, but that brings negative feelings and a whole load of resentment.
Realize the impact of your mistake/experience. Now, most misinterpret the impact of their mistake or the experience itself. It is very probable that one would focus on their own welfare and how their feelings were impacted, as well as assume that they were the ones impacted the most. Rather, people should thoroughly analyze the experience, and with a clear mind (unattainable to the people holding onto minuscule facts) realize the impact on everyone.
Take pride in the experience. This is truly a difficult step indeed. Many assume that it is their pride that banishes the experience to the corners of their minds, only to be pulled out when a similar experience happens. This is not the right approach. Experiences, when learned from, should be learned from overall and the problem should be tackled head on. This leads to the inner peace rather than the inner insecurity in many. It is not pride that banishes the experiences, it is ego and ego just hurts self-image.
Let go. If there are amends to be made, make them. Many have problems expressing their condolences, but it is a crucial step to learning from the experience. Many worry and dwell on current feelings and atmospheres but they will subside and time will fade them away. They don't have to turn their back on the experience to let go. They just have to realize things happen and for a reason. It’s not good to dwell on the past.
Many obstacles hinder the progress to learning such as the fear to learn the ‘wrong’ lesson or the fear of the experience happening all over again. Fear stems from uncertainty and that is the major downfall to learning from experience. People, although they give a front to others, are insecure and developing a strong sense of confidence, not ego, will benefit them.