It can sometimes be difficult to put your finger on what characterises a man, particularly if you are an ardent follower of men like me.
However, after years of research and seeking answers I have created a characterisitc definition which should help you identify them (just in case you ever need to check).
First, a man will be the perfect patient when very ill. They will allow you to care for them andprove the most cooperative of patients. However, minor ailments are something else. A man with a cold will be tetchy, grumpy and allow their personal hugien to drift into the somwhat aromatic zone. They will hug the bedsheet, smile wanly from the depths of the covers and demand hot drinks and snacks every ten minutes.
A man is hairier than (most) women. They have facial hair which grows mostly around the chin, cheeks, across the upper lip and they either keep themselves clean shaved, have stubble in what is known as 'designer' grades, ranging from a few scattered hairs to several hairs dotted around of indeterminate lengths. Or, they go for the full blown beard and moustache look, which they will trim occasionally to remove old food and other material whichhas lodged itself in the beard. Whatever the hariness of the man, one thing is a defining characteristic. Your sink will be covered in hairs - eitrher tiny, niggling ones which get everywhere or longer, coarser ones which block th eplug hole. Either way, a man will ignore them and seemsurprised when the sink no longer clears or when they can no longer find the toothbrush under a mass of tiny hairs.
Men have more muscle tissue than women. This is physiological and its origin are from our physiological differences and evolution. The man of old would go forth, seek prey and bring it home for the wife and family. However, nowadys, a man is characterised by posessing still more muscle than women but the use if different. Now, men use their muscles for liftingpint glasses totheir lips, lifting the very heavy remote control to change TV channels or lifting a fork and knife to their lips. As for going forth and catching prey, they have learned to depatch the nearest wife or off-srping to thenearest supermarket and just hand over a list and money.
Men posess a strange organ called a penis (though they have many other names for it). This organ is largely used for reproductive purposes but men have found many other uses for it. It can be played with secretly by inserting hands into deep pockets, it can have a life of its own, appearing mysteriously whenever a top reveals bossoms or someone on TV bends over a little far. It is useless for aiming, however and men find it necessary to lift the seat of the toilet to avoid spillages- and leave it up!
Men are different from women but they are not from Mars as the book title tells us. Instead, they are from a well evolved place called man-town. Here,men loll around all day, served and waited upon by women in scanty dresses and tops who adore their every murmering, laugh at their jokes and provide just enough sex to keep them happy.
Once you know the characteristics of a man you will be able to check if your somewhat dishevelled person is actually one. Good luck.