Alcoholic Roommate

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"Alcoholic Roommate"
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My roommate has innate obsessions with shopping and drinking. Or, rather, shopping drunk. I got home last week around 12am to find her passed out on the couch and several shopping bags on the dining table still packed up and waiting to be examined. I decided to take a peek (documented here).


One Papaya
One dozen peach roses (still in the wrapper)
One giant already aired up blue swirl bouncy ball
Twenty pounds of cat food
Two pool floaties (we don't have a pool, nor do we know anyone who does)
A new t-shirt
Cayote Ugly on dvd*
The new Nelly CD*
A pound of grapes
One copy of Cosmo (july 2008)

*Roommate's choice in movies and music do not reflect the personal opinions of the author.

My roommate used to work in banking, and then in advertising. Professional jobs with nice clothes, health insurance, weekday hours and a stable future. Now, she has the lucrative job of dating a rich married man. This gives her even more shopping choices and her extravegent excursions are becoming more and more frequent and I never know what I'll find when I return home.

I came home from a long day at work and school last Monday night. When I walked in the door, I could hear my son and his best friend playing bongo drums and x-box. The roommate and her "boyfriend" were watching TV and they told me we had leftover Japanese food in the kitchen. (Yes!) I sat down, ate, drank some wine, destroyed the bongos, and told the boys I was going to bed. 11:00pm. When I got up the next morning at 3:30am for work, I walked into the living room and found, yes, you guessed it, a pineapple and Canadian bacon Domino's pizza, some cokes, and a brand spanking new stainless steel microwave. While I was sleeping, the pizza/microwave fairy had come to our household and I missed it!

Not too long after the microwave fairy, the boxed wine fairy and the new underwear fairy came to visit. Shortly after that, the "boyfriend" was on the run from the law and they both left town. Sadly, no more fairy visits.

The amount of money spent per weekend, after alcohol consumption, could have paid the mortgage on the house several times over. Having an alcoholic roommate has really opened my eyes about what the alcohol/shopping combination can do to your life and your checkbook. The alcohol can make you think that only money can love you and the shopping can strip you of all your cash. It's a vicious circle that sadly has no end.

More about this author: Jennifer Brister

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